


things you said over the phone

by aphwhales



Series: things we said [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Drabble, Earth C (Homestuck), Implied AVPD Jake, Land of Mounds and Xenon, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Slight Canon Divergence, idk these boys are just big messes, implied autistic dirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 04:28:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14663295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphwhales/pseuds/aphwhales
Summary: There’s rarely a time when you can be around people without being stiflingly anxious.





	things you said over the phone

The inside of the mound is dark and cold. You sigh and lean your head back, pillowed on your arms. The stone under your back is cold, even through the jacket you’re wearing. 

It had taken ages to find your quest bed after the game. You didn’t need to “respawn” on your planet, because you walked through the Door alive. You were usually up to exploring the planets around Earth C, but many of the others never were. You found this place by yourself, because no one wanted to go with you. Dirk had been busy with Dave, and Eridan avoids traveling to the planets because he hates his own. Jade helped only by facilitating your arrival, and even that was indirect. She fixed the transportalizer for you. 

It’s quiet down here, and it feels too much like your crypt on Prospit for you to get comfortable, but you needed space. Sometimes everything gets to be too much for you. 

Actually, scratch the “sometimes”; it’s always too much for you. There’s rarely a time when you can be around people without being stiflingly anxious. Even Dirk is better than you: Rose managed to drag him to a carpacian psychiatrist and get him diagnosed with half a dozen anxiety disorders right out of the box. 

Your family would probably do that, too, but you already know that you have some form of PTSD and social anxiety. Anyway, you don’t plan on telling them. 

Keep letting John think you’re just shy, and best let Jane think you’re still denser than a bag of rocks. Jade suspects, you think, but she seems to chalk it up to growing up alone in a jungle full of murderous fauna. 

And there’s Dirk. 

He’s probably the only person you’d consider family outside of the people you’re actually ectobiologically related to. He’s also one of the very, very few people you can be around for more than an hour without having some sort of meltdown once you get home. Of course, you still need to recharge a lot, but it’s gotten to the point where you can spend the night with him. 

Your phone is ringing. It’s Dirk. You also have some missed texts from him, so you pick it up, quick as possible.

“Howdy!” You say, cheerful as you can muster. Dirk is near silent on the other end. You can hear his breathing - he’s always been a mouth breather, from the first time you video chatted with him, all the way through the end of the game. 

Behind that is what sounds like tapping on something hollow and metal. Oh, you must have been gone for longer than you thought, if he’s using the old soup can for auditory stimming. Usually he just uses it for the feel on his fingers. “Are you alright over there, chum?” 

The tapping is slightly louder now. Something that you’ve found out from Hal, not long after you and Dirk got back together, was that Dirk is _terrified_ of being abandoned. According to the aforementioned psychiatrist, he’s got some sort of separation anxiety.

“Are you verbal right now, Dirk?” 

“Barely.” Poor thing, his voice is hardly a whisper. 

“Okay. Do you need me to come back?” Dirk is silent. “Dirk? Strider, if you don’t answer I’m coming back either way.” 

“If… if you’re done with…” 

“I’ll be done if you need me to be. I’m not doing much of anything. Okay, one more question - I’m just packing up my things.” 

“Okay.” 

“Do you have your blanket?” 

“Yeah… I’m. I’m under the table. In the bedroom.” How the fuck. Your nightstand is tiny, and most of the space under it is taken up by empty guns. How did he fit under there, especially considering he’s probably cocooned in his weighted blanket? 

“Okay,” You reply, deciding to leave that mystery for a time when Dirk is actually able to speak. “I’m going to leave the mound now. Should be back in a jiffy!”

Dirk doesn’t speak for a moment, and you think he’s hung up until you pull your phone away from your ear to check. Finally, he replies, “Thanks, Jake.” 

“No problem at all! I’ll see you soon, alrighty?” 

“Yeah. Love you.” 

You’re certain your heart is going to burst. You stutter a moment, before speaking. “You too. Er, I love you too!” You’re going to burst with joy. He told you he loved you, and you said it back! 

He’s going to get the shit cuddled out of him when you get home, you decide, stepping onto the transportalizer.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://flotsems.tumblr.com)


End file.
